Search This Blog

Thursday 10 September 2015

I DECLARE MY ASSETS


I plan to be big someday. Even if I don’t become the president, I believe I am the future of tomorrow as talked by my primary school teachers. If I end up as the minister of petroleum resources, I will just manage it. Before I rise to that apogee in the nearest, it is wise that I declare my humble beginnings now to avoid side comments and trends on twitter in time to come about my possession.

Following the recent declaration by Baba, I feel that I have to declare my own assets because I consider myself a public figure owing that I am CEO of TalkofTalks. We have to emulate good things like this. Let’s begin from here.

Here is a detailed list of my assets.


1. My Books- #30,000

Excluding those that I lent and gifted out over a long time till now and including those I borrowed that am yet to read and those I borrowed that am yet to read and those which I converted disobeying the 9th commandment. Lord forgive me.

2.My Bat and Power Bank- #50,000

My bat is my Blackberry Z10. The name is derived from the processor speed it possesses. It helps me get my source materials to prepare articles, its Text-To-Speech (TTS) helps me read a lot of articles, my mails and transactions are processed specially by “him.” I love you Bat. I really do.

3. My Eco Bank Account- #1,250

This is my ledger balance. The bank is fist handed with my own money reason why there is still a thousand among the digits. I hope that this amount increases over the month from those little calculated percentages dropped into the customer’s account.
Hurray! As of when this article was written I got an alert. God win. So, total balance becomes #7,750.

4. Shoes- #34,700

I know that my shoe collection is way less than a pair of shoe (some(few)) like an Italian Skin Brogue. Not to worry, this asset increases by my earning. I hope to acquire more shoes like a Timberland Earthkeeper Brogues, Balenciagas, 2015 Air Jordans, Clarks, Tods, customized slip-on shoe amongst others. So that as a minister I would have a good shoe rack/wardrobe.

5. Art Works- #50,000

Yes! For those who don’t know, I draw. Animations, portraits, cartoons and sorts. Some of my works are on Instagram @deksmond, click here to view. All works posted and unposted is worth that amount. Click and testify.

6. Blog- #Unknown

This is a forte to me. I am yet to value the site and give a figure of its worth. I would value the articles, fans and visitors, aesthetics. When I come up with the actual value I would give an update. If the valuing gets tedious, I hope to get a site valuer.

Presently, no goats, rams, bulls, poultry, farm or company(ies)


Finally, I can’t give a total sum now because if I do, my oga at the top might bless me with more, then my head would jam trying to balance figures. That’s all.

My dear friends, members of TalkofTalks, this are my humble possessions. We hope to acquire more in time to come. Stay tuned.

5 comments:

  1. Kai.......u too much honest man when dy come for u no run ooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ms. Joseph A. I appreciate the compliment. Run? From who? Except you want me to begin a Marathon.

      Delete
    2. Superb... keep it up friend. I see talent at its peak

      Delete
  2. Thank you Mr. Christian. Well appreciated.

    ReplyDelete