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Friday 24 July 2015

A 4-DAY VISIT


Firstly, let me express my likeness for President Muhammadu Buhari. I like tourist because am one, people of like nature are known to have affinity for themselves. I foresee more travels within this four years of his tenure and l would like to see his itinerary because God works in mysterious ways, bumping into the President in one of the countries across the waters would be a thing of great joy.
President Muhammadu Buhari’s visit to USA as supposed was for a 4-day visit particularly to seek help in recovering our missing 150 billion dollars from an unknown forest reserve. I wonder how the money would be recovered knowing that Nigerian looters knows how the cover their ends. Would it be through the help of their CIA computer nerds working speedily with computer systems or through the aid of any other intelligence agency or a related body involved in recovery. Baba is a wise man. I appreciate his sense of embracing the modern approach of handling situations, this is why he went to seek help from the U.S.

Now, we know that Africans have a way of granting or making promises of what/things they can’t fulfill. The African pattern is-

1.       Praise
2.       Promise
3.       Help a little
4.       Give excuses
5.       Withdraw

Permit me to explain this pattern.

PRAISE
-          A typical African man who wants to grant or seek a favour would praise you for a while before moving forward to the matter of importance for two reasons-
i.                     To calm your nerves of suspicion
ii.                   To bring in sentiments
If a favour is to be granted the praise given must be for something in return. Sooner or later. That is why President Barrack Obama described Nigeria as the most important and influential country in Sub-Saharan continent. President Obama is a wise African.

PROMISE
Forget the proverb that ‘an unfulfilled promise is a sin’ in Nigeria it doesn’t work that way, remember when your father always promised you a bicycle if you came top in class at the end of the academic term? After hard work to come first, the promise is not fulfilled and the same promise is made next term. Promises are made to show the ‘promisee’ that the ‘promiser’ is most concerned about his/their needs than theirs. President Obama promised to recover the missing funds, added to that to recover looted assets, bring to a halt the escapades of book haram, and to boost the Nigerian military. This is a complete promise- one which must cover the main need and sundry.

HELP A LITTLE
Fulfilling a promise no matter how small the fulfillment might be tells a lot. Its shows seriousness and ability to honour your word. This was the case during President Goodluck Jonathan’s regime where America promised to rescue the missing Chibok school girls. They helped a little by using the drone craft to carry out surveillance in Sambisa forest. The rest is a long story. This little help was still rendered by an African- Obama.

GIVE EXCUSES
Sometimes is just an excuse, other times it’s a chain of excuses. When America was unable to fulfill the full promise they gave excuses how top Nigerians stood in the way of rescuing the Chibok girls and lots more. Excuses are part of some human’s nature to evade the chagrin from the person(s) we want to please.

WITHDRAW
Those in charge of ensuring that the assistance is being rendered begin to withdraw from carrying out their duty and at a snap of a finger all the foreign aid return to their motherland. At the end of everything they make it seem like and unplanned promise which slipped their mouth.

 We do know that Nigeria is the King Kong of Africa(mind you in Africa apes are kings to lions) and if America decides to aid Nigeria, Nigeria would aid them too. Directly or indirectly.

The first thought which comes to mind is the Gay legalization which president Buhari has clearly refused by re-enacting the gay bill of 14years imprisonment. I knew that PMB would not accept the gay legalization act for reasons that he is disciplined and a conc. Muslim. Femi Adesina said that PMB was ‘pointblank’ saying that sodomy is against Nigerian law.


Being pointblank. President Buhari is forward and he has made this known to President Obama and his citizens. I like the way he does it(the pointblank moment)- sits clamly, grins with his cycle-like nerd glasses and spill the words.

I appreciate this effort made by our President. I hope the funds are recovered and ‘corruptionists’ are prosecuted and other stolen money are recovered too. If America wants to help do this, it has to be done in an African-American way.

PS- the way President Buhari was speaking fast and fluently while he was articulating his speech needs a laudable commendation and I give it to him. He truly understands that ‘if you are in Rome, you behave like a Roman.’

Thursday 23 July 2015

30 MINUTES OF MISBEHAVIOUR



Let me begin with a definition for purpose of clarification. A period of misbehaviour is a reversed sensible period where abnormal (at that moment) seems like the legal and only accepted way of behaving. These cycle of misbehaviour occurs either in group or individually. These abnormalities would be treated squarely. Group misbehaviour is initiated when participants have similar reverse mental reaction; the individual type, very exciting, it is enjoyable and it sometimes give an impulse to capture the moment, but for the sake of privacy the impulse is defiled.

The feeling doesn’t bring in age- young or old, small or big, everyone is involved. it is contagious based on the group stage.

As a child, I grew up with the mentality that parent in general had no flaws. A perfect life without any anomaly. Watching 9pm news with my dad at the age of 7, I heard a sound from where dad sat and questioned him about the sound, he said that it was a croaking sound from a toad inside the sofa. I believed him hook, line and sinker. At that point he was misbehaving in public. At a later time I realised that he was misbehaving so I said to myself "if dad could do such who am I?"

One general form of misbehaviour- Picking the nose. In public it is a soft pick; in private you pick as if you are a miner digging for gold, which eventually causes nasal expansion. The dismal part of this aspect is, some people create a cataclysm to their public status. How? In church I once saw a guy whom during the readings picked his nose, used same index finger to scratch inside his ear, thereby transferring germs to both organs simultaneously. So disgusting! But it didn’t seem so to him, it was the ‘rightest’ thing to do at that period.

The group misbehaviour is triggered by the kingpins of the group who makes every other member to see sense in the abnormal behaviour. This act is normally disastrous, sometimes mob action, gang robbery, gang rape, it makes them proud, making  them feel that they can express themselves behaviourally in a free way, not minding the place. When I was a JSS3 boarding student, SS2 students exhibited this group psychology of madness by nabbing twelve pots of food, one for each of soldier. After consumption, they slept like masons that had a long burdensome day. They woke up the next day to huge bills handed to them by the principal, to pay for the delinquency which affected other students.

Misbehaviour makes one feel free and happy, although not always. It makes one feel at home even when not at home. Mental balance sometimes has to go down on the equilibrium scale, for imbalance to be up to show one the abnormal side of normality.

N.B- Misbehaving within thirty minutes might not take place at a stretch, but the amount of time must be completed irrespective of the interval before completion.

Friday 10 July 2015

MY 2015 HAJJ


Hajj, one of the greatest Islamic religious observance for Muslims all over the world, which comes up annually is here again. As usual Nigerian Muslims would surely be participating in this year’s hajj, and as we know ‘awoof dey run belle;’ that is when you frequently enjoy the awoof. It seems this year the Nigerian government wants to put sand-sand in the garri of the Islamic faithfuls going on pilgrimage.

Trending on twitter in Nigeria two days back was #NoToOldPlanes4Hajj, where users aired their views about the ‘suspected’ plane which would be used to fly pilgrims to mecca in Saudi Arabia.

This annual pilgrimage which I haven’t been a participant but happen to know that it is sponsored at the three governmental levels- federal, state and local government. As Nigerians we are supposed to be wise enough to know that there is nothing like a free lunch, even if there is, an indirect payment will be made sooner or later. Same thing as this boon granted by the Nigerian government, a free flight ticket equals more than a decade old scrubby plane as long as it can push its passengers to Saudi.

On the side of the pilgrims, that should be changed for so many reasons-

I. This may not sound nice, but a plane crash is the foremost negative thought that comes to mind in matters like this; God forbid that a plane crash occurs. We would like to see our Alhajis in their neatly ironed and starched white kaftan, palm slippers and hula, Hajiyas with their beautiful wrappers, bubas, hijab and dangling jewelries. Our yaras too are inclusive- the boys have to be available to show off their oversize polo, packet shirts and T-shirts to match with their Cabo-Snoop like trouser; the girls need to look religiously good with their hijab and laali on their hands and feet.

II. Within this thirty days of 5am-6pm fasting and prayer, you won’t want to be inside a stuffed plane filled with loquacious people talking about diversified issues, which might end up making you nauseous. Surely our government won’t want to land sick persons into a foreign country.

III. A good flight sometimes determines the outcome of things in the country you are flying to. We do not want a situation where Nigerian would be misrepresented abroad while on pilgrimage, thereby making headlines on every Newspaper, electronic and broadcast media worldwide; like- A NIGERIAN FOUND IN SAUDI ARABIA RUNNING NAKED. That would be a national and religious disgrace.

The government should look into this situation and handle it aptly, if not for any reason to, protect her citizens and give them a wonderful hajj.

With Desmond’s law of pilgrimage I leave the stage- provided that the individual and national status is kept constant in a country of frequent travel daily, monthly or annually. The amount of travellers must be directly proportional to a standard aircraft and the amount of planes must be inversely proportional to the amount of travellers.